I recently received a letter from someone who has been married for a number of years. The letter described a couple who has gradually drifted away from each other. They sounded like great parents but their marriage had grown cold. The writer ended the letter with a request for a suggestion to rekindle the romance within the marriage.
Usually, stories like this start with unresolved resentments and feelings of hurt. When conflicts arise and the issues are not clearly addressed, the couple will begin to put distance between each other. This process can occur rapidly or gradually over time. The couple may present well to everyone in the community, but what is really happening within the home is quite different. The couple may share more of a roommate type situation as compared to a loving, marital environment.
So, what can a couple do to overcome a predicament like this? Here are a few quick suggestions.
1. Take a mini vacation with your partner about every six weeks. This does not have to be anything elaborate. It may consist of going to a nearby town and checking into a motel for a night or two. It is essential that couples get a break from the usual routine. This is refreshing to the marriage. P.S. The children will need to stay with grandparents or a sitter.
2. Schedule a "Date Night." Go to the movies, out to dinner, to the park, a walk through the mall, window shopping. Make your spouse a priority and stop giving regular excuses of work and children.
3. Pray together as a couple. This needs to be done in addition to the blessing at meal times. Praying together helps to remind us of the vows we made to each other. As a result our commitment to the marriage and the needs of our partner are reinforced.
4. Kiss your partner more often. Tell them that you love them. Reach out and hold his or her hand. It is amazing how couples can talk about certain issues, and by simply holding hands, an argument is prevented. Holding hands conveys love and reassurance.
5. Couples can reconnect rather rapidly by simply saying things like, "I miss you." And "I'm sorry."
Never give up on a good thing. If your relationship is generally good or was once great strive to recapture what you once had between you. Let your partner know that you think the relationship is worth fighting for. Then give 110 percent of yourself.
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