This might well appear a strange thing to say but many parents do not realize how vital it is to teach teenagers that dating and sex are not one and the same. Believe it or not all too many teenagers just presume that sex is a normal part of dating and a quick look at magazines and television aimed at this group gives a clear idea of just why this is so. Do not just assume that your teenage children appreciate the difference between dating and sex and make sure that they get this message.
Teach your children the difference between dating and sex from a young age and emphasize this message often. In particular, help your teenagers to appreciate that dating entails getting to know other people emotionally and not only physically.
Teenagers will frequently have a 'one track mind' and you will have to put forward suggestion on other things for them to do when dating rather than just focusing their minds on having sex. This may appear silly but you would be surprised at how often teenagers opt for sex as an option just out of boredom and cannot think of anything better to do with their time. So, as crazy as it may appear you really will have to propose things that your teenagers can do on a date to have fun. If you can get them to stay busy enough then there is a very good chance that they will end up having to say no less frequently.
Several parents teach their teenage children how to go about saying no to sex and give them a whole list of excuses or one-liners. The is alright but a one-liner generally only works once and merely brushing off the suggestion with a one-liner is only putting the question off in the short term and leaving the door open for the suggestion to keep coming up again and again. The answer therefore is to teach your child to simply say no clearly and sternly and that, while they may want to give reasons, they should not have to do so and merely saying no ought to be enough.
If you find yourself in the situation where your child has already experienced sex then you might believe that it is too late to talk to them about saying no. This is definitely not the case. A lot of teenagers believe that once they have had sex once they cannot really refuse to do so again. The mere fact that they have had sex however does not mean that this can simply be 'ticked off' their development list and you will have to make it clear that they they are free to say no to sex if they feel uncomfortable. You should also talk to them about the fact that engaging in sex should always be something important and special and that a lot of myth surrounds the importance of their initial sexual experience.
While discussing the importance of building relationships on far more than just sex, it is also important to combine this with teaching your teenagers about safe sex practices. No matter how much you may want to do so you are not always going to be able to prevent your teenagers from engaging in sex. Nevertheless, you can provide yourself with some peace of mind by trying to ensure that your teenagers stay safe, even if they decide not to follow your advice to stand stand their ground and make the right choices.
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